Sunday, June 6, 2010

How you can annoy English soccer fans

So the United States will be taking on England in the first round of World Cup games, meaning we'll have to deal with some of the most passionate soccer fans in the world. Here is how you get into their head...

- Remind them that the NFL still makes more money than the English Premiere League. Also mention that unlike the EPL, there are women football fans.
- Remind them that they live in England.
- Remind them than even though we don't have universal healthcare over here, we still have better teach.
- Oh and our food is better.
- Say "lets play a game, raise your hand if you've won a revolutionary war."
- Tell them that their biggest contribution to the musical world was the Spice Girls.
- Braveheart. Yeah, you guys are a bunch of dicks. Oh, and William Wallace owned you.
- Inform them that they created Canada. Yeah thanks for that.
- America has NASCAR. England has Mini-Coopers. I think we win.
- Tell them France is better. That will go over well.


  1. USA is 2-7 lifetime against England.

    They won in 1950, 1-0... and again in 1993, 2-0.

    They are scheduled to beat England again in 2036.

    Goals scored lifetime: USA 07 - England 28

    World Cup Titles: USA 00 - England 01

  2. Revolutionary Wars won: USA 1, England 0

  3. To be fair... France won the Revolutionary War for USA.

    Also, England didn't need to win it's own independence because the Romans chose to leave and fight other battles.