Fish tanks behind homeplate

All these new Major League ballparks have gone retro, featuring unique quirks and aspects that make them stand out from the rest. It's certainly better than the cookie-cutter stadiums of the 60s and 70s, although it would be nice if they didn't cost tax-payers an arm and a leg.

The Marlins new stadium takes the cake for a unique quirk. They're installing an aquarium backstop. What?

The two giant aquariums will be located on either side of home plate, but not directly behind it. And no worries on a Faith No More-type situation with a fish flopping around on the ground and gasping for air because the aquariums will be constructed with shatterproof glass.
MLB.com has more details:

"Each aquarium will be constructed using a durable fiberglass structure, and white crystal-clear acrylic panels 1.5 inches thick will be used for the viewing windows. To safeguard it from impact, Lexan — the material used for bulletproof windows — will be installed in front and in back of the acrylic panels."

The aquariums will hold 600 and 450 gallons, but will sadly not be big enough for a real marlin.

This makes me think they should have Grizzly Bears at UM's home stadium.

Stephen Strasburg is getting a town named after him

As if the hype around Washington National's pitcher wasn't enough, a town in Virginia has decided to change their name in honor of the prospect who is slated to start for the first time on June 8th.

No pressure kid.

Maybe the citizens of Strasburg, Va., haven't heard about the softening ticket market for Stephen Strasburg's debut on Tuesday, because this action seems rash if they're doing it to get into the game.

OK, they're not really doing it to get into the game, but an excited group from the town of 6,200 people wants it to be renamed "Stephen Strasburg" for one week next year. (The town of Strasburg is about 70 miles from our nation's capitol.) The movement already has a website (RenameStrasburg.com) and an accompanying Facebook group of 19 members.

My thoughts is that Strasburg is going to be one heck of a pitcher, but all these expectations are setting him up for failure. Everyone needs to slow down a tad.

The Mariners are desperate for your attention

Really Ms? These are the kind of promotions you're coming up with? Celebrating websites that every baseball loving male hates.

Nothing like a 7-year-old Internet meme to show the kids you're hip, right Seattle? What's next, redirecting the team site to Last Measure? (Note: don't go to Last Measure.)

It was actually the second annual "Cheezburger Night" at Safeco, after the site that stole the idea from 4chan and made ridiculous money on it (which is okay, because 4chan found Happy Cat at Something Awful.

Enough with the tangled history of a meme we all wish would go away. Let's talk baseball, or the desecration thereof! The Mariners offered discounts on tickets and Happy Cat bobbleheads while supplies lasted. (Supplies lasted; they drew under their season average.) But, worst of all, they changed up "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" to put it in Lolcat speak.
I'm waiting for BobbleGut Griffey night.

Perfect game disaster ending has a happy ending?

You know doubt heard about Armando Galarraga's perfect game getting ruined by a bad call by the umpire. Well it might have a happy ending...

Bob Barker and Rod Roddy couldn't have planned it better themselves.

In the wake of Armando Galarraga's perfect-game-that-wasn't, Chevrolet and the Detroit Tigers rightly decided that the jilted pitcher deserved a grand gift anyway.

So a new Corvette was driven behind home plate prior to Thursday's game with the Cleveland Indians and presented to the man who has been nothing but class in the face of Wednesday's disappointing and unjust finish. That'll ease the sting a bit.

Even better, the feelgood moments didn't end once Galarraga was handed the keys to his shiny new whip. With Jim Joyce scheduled to work home plate for the day, Galarraga then carried the lineup to the tearful ump and shook his hand. Joyce remained emotional and responded with a thankful pat to Galarraga's arm.

Bud Selig came out and refused to change the call - the which would have been the last out of the perfect game - that the umpire obviously screwed up on. While replays clearly show that the runner was out, I'm not sure what precedent you set by changing rulings.  
And how about all these perfect games? Yeah the steroid era is officially dead.

I'm back, bitches!

Good news everyone! I'm officially back on the grid as I used a Verizon wireless card to get my internet back meaning I'll be blogging like a mad fool. The bad news is that I'll be blogging like a mad fool.

(Most of it will be making fun of MooseJaw) By the way, these past few days without internet has been absolute torture.

Now I'll be able to update you all on the ins and outs of the fine state of Montana but first I would like to provide you all a counter-argument to everybody's worship about Ken Griffey Jr.

Sure he was basically the face of Seattle sports for years when he was with the Mariners but don't forget he left the Mariners. To go to the Reds. In Cincinnati. In the freaking' state of Ohio. And his career went into the tank after that.

As good as he was in Seattle, he was just as bad everywhere else and wasn't exactly Mr. Baseball when he came back to Seattle. I'll give that last year he was actually a big boost in the clubhouse. But this year he was falling asleep during games, which isn't a big deal in itself but it just goes to show you where he was in his career. He'll make a much bigger contribution as a clubhouse presence or coach - hopefully inside the Mariners' organization.

This doesn't tarnish his legacy but it's part of it. He came back to a rain check with the Mariners for the fans, not to better the team. Griffey is still one of the best players in the game all-time, and probably one of the clean ones, but don't omit certain parts of his career because of it. Everyone was calling for Griffey's head before the retirement and then once he announced it, he turns back into cuddly Griffey. What the heck?

Still love the guy, just being realistic.

Is it about time to go to Roger Clemens?

I mean, Yankees' starting pitching is struggling... might as well give it the ol' college try.

Ozzie Guillen likes to make fun of Cleveland

Here's what White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen had to say to Cleveland via autographed balls...

Hey as a fan, I would be ecstatic to get a ball signed like this. Except for what he wrote next...

Is this the first time a manager has used LOL?
Found this on Deadspin.

He wasn't napping through this fight

This looks like any normal D-bag Chicago fan fight, but if you look closely...is it... ITS A GRIFFEY jersey!!!

A T-Rex can throw out a better first pitch than MooseJaw

If you remember earlier this week, MooseJaw talked about how he couldn't get the ball to the dirt while throwing out the first pitch. Well I think he might have been one-upped by a prehistoric animal...

GRIFFEY IS THE BEST BASEBALL PLAYER EVER!

We've been talking about how they should bench Junior for a more productive batter and then he goes and does this...

Griffey hits game-winning hit (and drives in Milton Bradley of all people)

I smell winning streak... okay I don't smell winning streak. Sadly this probably garuntees Griffey's spot in the lineup for at least two more months.

I think M's fans are really starting to hate these players

Just how bad is it for Seattle fans right now? Last night, trailing 3-2 in the bottom of the ninth against the Toronto Blue Jays, who does manager Don Wakamatsu put in to pinch hit?

That's right, Ken Griffey Jr. The same player that has been drawing the criticism of Mariners fans everywhere for being completely worthless at the plate. Coming in to pinch hit. On the verge of five straight losses. Ken Griffey Jr. That photo above is of Griffey harmlessly popping out - he didn't even get it to the outfield grass.

Then after Ichiro pops out, Figgins and Gutierrez get on base which brings up - MIKE SWEENEY!

The same player that has been drawing the criticism of Mariners fans everywhere for being completely worthless at the plate. Sweeney gave a ball a ride... right into the glove of of a Blue Jays outfielder and the Mariners lost their fifth straight, and are now 8.5 games out of the AL West lead.

Now I would take this time to announce that David Ortiz is back! I mean he's really hitting well now, but it pains me to see such suffering from Mariners fans so I wont even try and rub it in. Back-to-back, these have got to be the most painful losses by Seattle this year.

Why? Doug Fister pitched well. Eight innings, five strike outs, only allowed three runs. David Aardsma sealed up the ninth with two strikeouts. Figgins looks like he's starting to come around. But the two players that have been the epicenter of the Mariners woes this season crapped the bed.

Seriously, time to start rioting. Or just throwing those Griffey bobbleheads off high rises.

What's next for today? Randy Johnson scaling down from the rafters and hitting Felix in the back with a steel chair?

Boston is just better than Seattle

Let's compare this...

A vibrant east coast city with plenty of history (I mean didn't the Revolution start there) with classic sports teams that have championships and lore. A west coast city that is known for its grunge and coffee, not to mention a domed stadium that had a tendancy to drop concrete bricks onto unsuspecting seats.

Right now, the Boston Celtics are up 2-0 in the Eastern Conference Finals in the NBA, after basically being written off for being old and past their prime. Seattle? Well...

Oh yeah, ouch...

Now let's move to baseball. The Red Sox have been having a down year so far - just 20-20 on the season which is good enough for fourth place in the AL East. The Mariners are also fourth... in a four team division. With Brandon League on the roster. Ugh.

Whoah! The most feared closer in baseball!

Shall we compare football because that would just be ridiculous. Tom Brady vs. Matt Hasselbeck? Are you kidding me?

Between all the people on the show and their sports allegiances, Seattle, Cleveland and Boston. Come on, Boston wins by a landslide.

Want to see the Rocket's secret

Oh Roger Clemens, how funny are you right now?

Eric Byrnes tearing it up in the softball leagues

How did the Mariners ever let Eric Byrnes go?!?!

The MLB network... has fewer viewers than PBS

The MLB Network, apparently has some viewership issues, as in nobody watches it. The numbers are out and less that 100,000 people watch the newly launched network in prime-time. Apparently they're too busy watching "Everybody Loves Raymond" reruns.

In its first month of being rated by Nielsen, MLB Network is averaging less than 100,000 viewers in prime time, making its viewership more comparable to channels like Logo and Military Channel than to ESPN or Versus.

When the network launched 16 months ago to about 50 million subscribers, it became the most successful channel launch in cable history. Plus, the quality of its programming has been widely praised, as it took home four statues from last month’s Sports Emmy Awards, a record haul for a first-year network.

But viewership has been slow to follow suit.

Dude, when you're getting compared to the Military Channel, you know you're in trouble.

Featured Interview: Dave Cameron from USS Mariner

The Mariners are falling apart!

There's no offense!

Griffey is falling asleep!

Time to bail on the M's right? Well come on, the season has just started. We talked with Dave Cameron from USSMariner.com about just how bad Mike Sweeney is (Can we bring back Jay Buhner?), the all important Griffey falling asleep in the clubhouse debacle and if the team has a chance to crawl back into this division race.

You can listen to the interview here.

5-10-10 - Dave Cameron - USS Mariner by HansentheSwede

Two videos you must watch

 A reporter screws up and does her own take on Tiger Woods' injury

See the horrific on-air mishap here.

Remember Yuniesky Betancourt and how much he sucks?

Here's proof he still sucks, just for the Royals now.

Enjoy, and remember, it's Monday, so we have the right to make fun of people.

It might be the end for Griffey

Get set for some serious drama, there's a bombshell about to drop in Seattle... Griffey hasn't been the "Mr. Teammate" this year that everyone expected. Now you can forgive his pitiful performance at the plate if he added something to the clubhouse but right now, he's not even doing that. Right now, he sells bobbleheads and that's about it.

That the rocking chair days are creeping near for Griffey doesn't come as much of a surprise. He's hitting .208/.265/.234 with no home runs and only two doubles in 83 plate appearances this season. He has struggled to recover from the left-knee surgery he had in the offseason and that he's 40 years old is evident to anybody who looks at him.

But what is surprising is that it's being reported that Griffey hasn't exactly been the teammate he has continually been touted to be. LaRue writes that there "have been times during games when [Griffey has] retired to the clubhouse, texted friends [and] watched the TV broadcast." Two players also told LaRue that Griffey wasn't available for a pinch-hit opportunity last week because he was asleep in the Mariners clubhouse. Yikes.

Falling asleep in the clubhouse? Was he getting too tired from giving out hugs along with Mike Sweeney. That's ridiculous and it's just in time to really make a poor season in Seattle even worse. Oh woe is the Mariners.

Dallas Braden doesn't want you to touch his mound

Oakland A's pitcher Dallas Braden, most famous for throwing a tissy fit after A-Rod crossed over the pitcher's mound to get to first base, has made history. Braden has just pitched the 19th perfect game in the history of the MLB.

What's that mean? Well just be glad it was against the Tampa Bay Rays and not the Mariners. Although after watching SportsCenter and seeing the Mariners getting no-hit through six and then cheering when Griffey broke up the no-hitter in an 8-0 loss... yeah it's going to be a long season, and perhaps the lineup getting no-hit or perfect gamed would be the most memorable thing this season for the Mariners. That or Cliff Lee wearing a jet pack out on the mound so he can jettison to his next big contract team after his last start for the M's. It's going to happen. Trust me.

As for A-Rod? Well Braden's grandmother has apparently told him to go "stick it."

I love old people.

The Pirates seem to be losing everything these days...

We're all about the heart-warming stories here in the Locker Room. Here's an excellent story about how an 11-year old returned a World Series ring to its rightful owner using the internet.

Merrill Hess, a former Pittsburgh Pirates scout who's now 83, recently lost the ring he was awarded after the Bucs won the 1960 World Series. He wasn't quite sure where he had misplaced it, but it turned up when 11-year-old Kate Drury found it on the floor of a snack bar at a New Jersey ice rink. She immediately alerted the rink manager of the find, but no one showed up to claim it. (Hess was thinking he might have left it in Florida while on vacation.)

A curious Kate then posted a question about the ring on Yahoo! Answers, which led to Hess' daughter Arlan finding her through an Internet search. The two parties soon connected and Kate was only too happy to return the jewelry to its rightful owner. 

I know what you're thinking, somebody still uses Yahoo! and the Pittsburgh Pirates won the World Series? Shocking on all levels but it does make for an excellent story.